Scooter and L. Harvey Oswald

Hello all,
As I sat down to type these words I learned, via the information super-highway (thank you Al Gore), that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Jr. has been indicted. My feeling is that I. Lewis will soon change his nickname to "fall guy"-- I. Lewis "fall guy" Libby. Keep in mind, I've done absolutely no research to back this claim, but here's the logic that leads me to believe Scooter is a stooge: no one in such a high profile position, with a name as asinine as I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Jr., commits such a crime. It's the same reason I will never rob a bank and use my mom's car in the getaway. Her license plate is personalized-- "PW". Tough for the eye-witnesses to forget that.

Not a day goes by since Plame-gate began that I wonder one of the following:

1. What does the "I" stand for? Ignatius? Ivanhoe? Ille (as in Ille Nastase)? Igby (Igby Libby)?
2. Should there be an amendment to the Constitution making it illegal for grown men to go by the sobriquet, "Scooter"?
3. If he's a "junior" nicknamed "Scooter" is his dad's handle "Chopper"?
4. What's wrong with going by Lewis? Or I. Lewis--conjure up images of I. Claudius, you know, old school.
5. Whatever happened to Orange Julius?

My point being, Scooter's the guy the bank robbers send out the front door while they sneak out the back--not that I've put much thought into robbing banks.

But that's not why you called...

I intended to share with y'all an interesting bit of historical journalism. I was watching a show about Lee Harvey Oswald's murder, when I witnessed the following interaction between a spokesman for the Dallas Police Department (D.P.D) and the crack collection of reporters assigned to cover the absurd events:

Spokesman: "Oswald expired at 1:07 p.m."
Reporter: "He's dead?"

I've racked my brain and can't come up with a single alternative interpretation of the statement "Oswald expired at 1:07 p.m." Any thoughts?

Yours eternally,
C. Foxwell "Skippy" Lewis