Ha Ha Halloween

Merry Halloween!

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said, "Son, don't you know that eating all of that
candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No, said Johnny, but he minded his own freakin' business."

Hot Sauce

Julia,
As I graded essays in my favorite eating establishment, Taco Bell, I became aware of yet another in the long line of inappropriate anthropomorphic food. I've attached a picture.

What I find particularly disturbing about these packets is that a couple of their messages imply a certain amount of fear and despair. Which leads me to feel that it's no longer food as entertainment, but food masquerading as cannibalism, mean-spirited cannibalism at that.

Bon apetit,
The Frugal Gourmet

Deflated Bucky Balls

Sad news...
Nobel Laureate Richard Smalley passed away today. He was just 62 years old.

"Rick was incredibly creative and had the ability to make his creative vision a reality," said Robert Curl, professor emeritus of chemistry at Rice University and
one of the men with which Smalley shared the Prize. "His mind was like a searchlight bringing whatever it looked at into clarity."

My lament is that I only now hear of him after he's fallen off the raft. I need to make a point of appreciating these folk while they're still with us.

Smalley and friends discovered, get this: Bucky Balls.

Bucky Balls, besides being a fun phrase to say--over and over again--, are "the roundest and most symmetrical large molecule known to man." (http://www.nanotech-now.com)

But it doesn't stop there, Bucky Balls are officially known as, I kid you not: Buckministerfullerine, named so because they are reminiscent, in shape, of the
geo-desic domes made famous by the American architect.

Apparently, Buckministerfullerine (I don't know which I enjoy saying more) is a carbon molecule instrumental in improving the world of nanotechnology. Thus
re-affirming that the kid at the end of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was right, "the world is getting bigger AND smaller... SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL
RULES!"

Final note, I'm still in the process of clarifying this information, but a couple of web-sites report that Buckministerfullerine was named "Molecule of the Year". What year? I don't know, but that's one awards ceremony I want to attend, or at least work the red carpet. Can you imagine?

"Dr. Smalley, Dr. Smalley, who are you wearing?"
"Are the rumors true? Is Jane Pauley carrying your love-child?"
"Will she change her name to Jane Pauley-Smalley?"

...perhaps in a parallel universe.

Yours in nanotechnology,
C. Buckminster Lewis

Scooter and L. Harvey Oswald

Hello all,
As I sat down to type these words I learned, via the information super-highway (thank you Al Gore), that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Jr. has been indicted. My feeling is that I. Lewis will soon change his nickname to "fall guy"-- I. Lewis "fall guy" Libby. Keep in mind, I've done absolutely no research to back this claim, but here's the logic that leads me to believe Scooter is a stooge: no one in such a high profile position, with a name as asinine as I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Jr., commits such a crime. It's the same reason I will never rob a bank and use my mom's car in the getaway. Her license plate is personalized-- "PW". Tough for the eye-witnesses to forget that.

Not a day goes by since Plame-gate began that I wonder one of the following:

1. What does the "I" stand for? Ignatius? Ivanhoe? Ille (as in Ille Nastase)? Igby (Igby Libby)?
2. Should there be an amendment to the Constitution making it illegal for grown men to go by the sobriquet, "Scooter"?
3. If he's a "junior" nicknamed "Scooter" is his dad's handle "Chopper"?
4. What's wrong with going by Lewis? Or I. Lewis--conjure up images of I. Claudius, you know, old school.
5. Whatever happened to Orange Julius?

My point being, Scooter's the guy the bank robbers send out the front door while they sneak out the back--not that I've put much thought into robbing banks.

But that's not why you called...

I intended to share with y'all an interesting bit of historical journalism. I was watching a show about Lee Harvey Oswald's murder, when I witnessed the following interaction between a spokesman for the Dallas Police Department (D.P.D) and the crack collection of reporters assigned to cover the absurd events:

Spokesman: "Oswald expired at 1:07 p.m."
Reporter: "He's dead?"

I've racked my brain and can't come up with a single alternative interpretation of the statement "Oswald expired at 1:07 p.m." Any thoughts?

Yours eternally,
C. Foxwell "Skippy" Lewis

A.N.T.M.

"Caryn: "Dumb bitches, they're gettin on my nerves."

Lisa, 24, comes across as a post-menopausal, "b" actress. The kind who recalls her glories through filtered vodka. Her 1920's flapper-esque hairstyle only serves to enhance this image.

--pluses and minuses, who says models aren't good at math" reads the Tyra-mail clue. Then we hear, in the background, "huh, I'm good at math." Okay, perhaps, but not so good at identifying a metaphor.

Janice Dickinson "I'm the person who just doesn't go away." Like herpes.

"I'm the world's first super-model." Perhaps she and Twiggy can debate that at show's end.

Lisa to Janice, "I'm the healthiest among all these girls." Except for the jeraboam (sp?) of gin she consumes daily.

Wow, Janice crushed Lisa, brought her to tears.

"Do you know why I coined the term "super-model"? Because I could."--Janice

Demon-hen
Lazy eye

--I love how the girls use feminine pronouns when talking about Miss Jay.

--I don't quite understand why Kim is as beloved by the girls as she seems to be. Is it the masculinity, the androgyny? Because, when it comes to being catty, she's a feline just like the other gals.

--The ending of this show is a tad melodramatic, don't ya think? You know what I speak of...we see a group photo of the gals, we hear a gust of wind, and in the blink of an eye, the recently excused model fades into a memory.

word of the day

CHURL (n)
1: a rude ill-bred person
2: a stingy morose person
3: a medieval peasant

CHURLISH (adj)
1 : marked by a lack of civility or graciousness
2 : difficult to work with or deal with

Columbus Day...ineffable...the diving Rodriguez

ineffable: an unspeakable act, one that can’t be expressed in words

There’s a sit-com currently being broadcast on the Tiffany network entitled How I Met your Mom. It’s not a classic, but it’s not half-bad. It revolves around a unique premise, at least unique by sit-com standards: through a series of flashbacks, a father explains to his teenage children...wait for it...”How I met your mother.” The acting’s good, the jokes are a few degrees above tepid, and it stars Doogie Howser. Like I said, it’s a good show, however you can’t help but watch it and wonder, “When they pitched this show, how often was Friends referenced or alluded to?”

But that’s not why you called...

This show featured the word “ineffable” and I believe they incorrectly used the word. The main character, the “I” in the title, has to break up with a girl he broke up with three years prior. During the first version, he explains, he just wasn’t ready for the commitment. For the redux version he can’t quite explain what’s wrong between them, it’s ineffable. He breaks up with her because she’s “not the one”.

Now, it’s my understanding of the “ineffable” that it is used to describe matters of plight or taboo, not matters of the heart. The damage done by Katrina, the hurricane, was ineffable. The damage done by Katrina, the girlfriend, doesn’t warrant the tag.

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Today is Columbus Day, which I wasn’t aware of until I turned the ignition of MRS JJR, which cued the radio that had been left on when I took the keys out of JJR, which filled the car with the familiar sounds of Howard Zinn. Love the Zinn. He’s got that great balance of intelligence and presence. I could happily listen to him analyze the influence of The Thompson Twins on Brazilian agriculture, but to hear him demonize Christopher Columbus? Well that’s just Valhalla. During this 1991 lecture, “honoring” the 500th anniversary of Columbus sailing the ocean blue, Howard uses Columbus’ own journal to refute the nobility of the explorer. In his journal, according to Zinn, C.C. wrote of the natives, “They are a peaceful people...




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“...Cabrera sends a line drive past the diving Rodriguez...” declares Tim McCarver.
Ahhh, the “Diving Rodriguez”, I remember the “Diving Rodriguez”. I was on leave in Bangkok, circa 1971, a surly young French prostitute taught me the erotic ways of the “Diving Rodriguez”. Yes, war...that tempestuous mistress.

Walk in Peace

Went to MacArthur Park today and walked with a couple thousand people. Walked with a couple thousand people and the venerable Thich Nhat Than.

I have arrived. I am Home.
In the here. In the now.
I am solid. I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell.

This is the mantra we spoke to ourselves as we treaded lightly round the park.

It worked for me.

Good day, so far.

Ho hum

Feeling a bit despondent today. It's one of those days where you feel more lonely than alone. I worked out, and that helped a bit. Liz and I talked on the phone. That helped. It just seems as though for every "high" I have, the pieces always seem to settle like silt on the bottom of a pond. Ho hum...

I think a lot of what I am going through has to do with the acknowledgment that Liz and I are in fact through, as a couple. My life is now going back to the way it was before I met her.

I have no problem being alone. Much of the time I prefer living by myself. But I greatly prefer having that one person I can go to consistently, nightly.

Also...the Red Sox are on the verge of being eliminated by the White Sox.

Tomorrow should be intreresting. I'm going to a peace walk in MacArthur Park. Thich Nhat Hahn, my favorite monk, is leading the walk.