from March 13, 2003

Hello all,
Enough is enough, I've been sitting on the sidelines
for far too long. It's about time I take a stand
regarding international relations. I'm getting in the
game...

I just finished reading an article about the Rolling
Stones and their upcoming tour in China. Apparently,
the boys at the Chinese Ministry of Culture (truly a
fun bunch of guys if there ever was one)have forbidden
Mick et al from performing the songs: "Brown Sugar,"
"Honky Tonk Women," "Beast of Burden," and "Let's
Spend the Night Together". Too sexually explicit they
say, and get this, they're not particularly fond of
"Brown Sugar" because it promotes
inter-racial lovin'.

Yee-haw!! I loves me the censorship. It always seems
so random and superficial. For example, they can't
play a rather innocuous song such as "Let's Spend the
Night Together" (...and by the by, why is this song
offensive to the Ministry? You don't get a country
with one billion people without spending a few nights
together), however they can sing "Street Fighting
Man", a song that glorifies violence. They can sing
"Mother's Little Helper", a universal speed-freak
anthem. And they can sing "Sympathy for the Devil",
which promotes, well, sympathy for the devil.
So--according to the Ministry of Culture-- violence,
drugs,
and compassion for Lucifer, that's okay. But a little
sexuality? No, no, we'll have none of that. Which
brings up another point. Are these guys making their
decisions based solely on lyric content? Because
quite frankly Keith Richards' guitar riff in
"Satisfaction" has enough sexual potency to impregnate
an entire Cantonese village. And what about "Start me
Up"? The Ministry has okayed that song. I don't know
about you, but when I hear that song I'm not exactly
thinking about DieHard batteries or the start of an
Arena Football League game. That song is about
sex...in any language.

I guess what I'm saying to the Ministry of Culture is
don't invite the Rolling Stones to your country and
tell them not to be sexual. Just like you don't ask
the Jehovah's Witness to come over, if you don't want
them to try to convert someone. Just Like you don't
ask Al Gore to be your presidential nominee if you
want
to win. You just don't.

There, that's it...I said it. And I feel better for
it. In these crazy times of terrorism, war, and Fred
Durst a man has to stand up and be counted.

Sympathy for the devil,
Christopher