from Dec. 8, 2003

Allo, allo, allo,

I realize this is short notice, however tomorrow
(Tuesday the ninth) could be an historic day in
America.

San Francisco is having its run-off election for
mayor, featuring--of all things-- a Green candidate.

Granted the candidate, Matt Gonzalez, is the underdog
(he received 20% of the vote compared to Gavin
Newsom's 40% in the first election), but you never
know. America has never had a major city with a Green
mayor (unless you count Santa Monica... which I
don't).

If you get this message in time and you feel inspired
and you know a registered voter who lives in San
Francisco perhaps you might give them a call and
persuade them to vote for Matt (I have found that
either bribery or blackmail are most effective).

Some reasons to vote for Matt:

1. He's endorsed by the following:
BANDS AGAINST BUSH, BAY AREA (BABBA); Jello Biafra;
Dick Clark (not the yahoo from American Bandstand);
Danny Glover (admit it, you loved him in Operation
Dumbo Drop); Bob Weir of The Grateful Dead and Ratdog;
Rod Donald, Member of Parliament, New Zealand (for
stronger Bay Area-Kiwi relations); Teachers 4 Change;
S.F. Taxi Permitholders and Drivers Association (you
don't want to piss these guys off); DogPac (whose
website, www.dogchurch.org , bills itself as the
"Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua"); San
Francisco Motorcycle and Scooter Coalition; San
Francisco Bicycle Coalition; National Organization of
Women, California; Art Agnos, Former Mayor of San
Francisco.

2. Sound environmental policies such as: "Protect the
natural and use values of the Hetch Hetchy water
system" (I'm not exactly sure what this means, I just
like typing the words "Hetch Hetchy").

3. His ideas for improving education include smaller
class sizes and "recognizing the centrality of art in
a well-rounded education." Also, he never mentions
nor alludes to the notion that more computers in
classrooms would somehow resurrect the schools of
America from their abysmal state.

4. He has a proposal to make the city more bicycle
and pedestrian friendly... Amen brother!!

5. Did I mention, he's endorsed by Danny Glover, star
of Escape from Alcatraz.

Reasons not to vote for Gavin Newsom:

1. He's endorsed by Al Gore.

"Gore said he felt comfortable endorsing Newsom
because the candidate's studied style of leadership
mirrors his own." (www.gavinnewsom.com)

Yikes!! This guy thinks a comparison to Al Gore is a
positive thing. That's like comparing yourself to
plain yogurt.

2. His name is "Gavin".

C'mon, who's your Mayor, a guy named Matt or some
social butterfly named Gavin?
Besides, since the dawn of time, there has been only
one truly honorable man named Gavin: Gavin MacLeod
aka Captain Merrill Stubing of the Pacific Princess
aka The Love Boat.

Until tomorrow...

God Bless America,
God Bless Danny Glover,
and sucks to Gavin Newsom.

It ain't easy being Green,
Chris